Home, Sickness, and Sunshine

I’ve gathered my notebook and pen; I’ve got a freshly made coffee and I have already bought the cats outside and to spend some time in the backyard with me while I write.  I start again by  writing about  the warmth, the sunshine,  the birds, the trees. I am writing about the external, the place, … Continue reading Home, Sickness, and Sunshine

Letting go of the good or bad: learning to live with grey.

All certainty slips away when I try to describe a day, my day, as good or bad. Likewise when somebody asks me how I am, how should I respond. Which part of me are you asking about, which aspect of my day, my life, my experience am I to refer to. All my moments weave … Continue reading Letting go of the good or bad: learning to live with grey.

The need for validation, purpose and meaning.

I made a few starts to this week’s blog post. And they haven’t gotten far. I started one about sorrow, shame and self-blame, another about anger in response to prying and insensitive questions, and another about the subtle exclusion of the chronically ill from so many facets of community life. But then I started to … Continue reading The need for validation, purpose and meaning.

Thoughts on self-acceptance, activism, chronic illness and disability

I have recently been thinking about my identity, about who I am, and what I can do. About the labels I use to describe myself- and my concern about what labels other people might use to describe me. I am trying to reconnect with a self-acceptance and self-respect that has wavered over the past few years. It was easier before I was sick. I was working and my identity was closely tied to my role. I believed in what I did, and I was proud of it. I also danced, went hiking, ate out, was connected to friends and community. But since becoming unwell it has become harder, less clear, and I’ve struggled to feel the sense of pride that used to come easily to me. continued...